Do You Know Who Your Mom Friends Are?

Mom-Friends

by MO VEAR

I’m doing a duathlon next month, but the last time I ran was at last year’s duathlon.

So this past Saturday, I committed to getting some miles in.

I texted my Mom-Friend and told her I was on my way over:

“Can you do CPR because I’m running to your house and if Im not there in thirty-minutes, you should look for me near the tracks.”

Like lots of moms, I multi-task, but it’s mostly by default.

I needed to get to my friend’s house to see her son, David, and I needed to kick-start my commitment to my duathlon.

David was home from college for less than twenty-four hours, so I only had a small window of time to see him and it was the perfect amount of time to attempt an endurance run.

I endured, but it was harder than I remembered.

When I stumbled into their house, I thought about drinking out of the dog’s water bowl, but I stumbled into their kitchen instead and sat next to my friend at the island.

Her husband kindly served me a proper glass of water, so I didn’t have to drink out of the dog bowl.

Tilting her head backwards, she hollered into the air above her:

“David, Mo’s here. Do you want to come talk?”

That’s a loaded question, I thought as I logged it into my mom brain to laugh with her about later.

What kid – a boy no less, wants to come talk to his mom and her Mom-Friend – ever?

But every kid knows how to respond to their Mom’s polite, yet rhetorical line of questioning:

Prompt Action.

David appeared quickly, but not out of obligation.

I’ve watched he and his brother, Jesse, grow up and I love them as much as I love my own two boys.

He gave me a big hug and a smile from ear-to-ear.

Unlike Little David who needed to be lifted onto the countertop, this David hopped onto it himself and engaged us in a delightful conversation; the kind that Moms live for.

Sitting on both his hands, he was slightly hunched over.

I watched and I listened.

To the same little boy I watched and listened to in the school lunchroom and on the playground at recess, when I volunteered years ago as a school aide.

His legs dangling mid-air, alternated; kicking in and out.

Like the tick-tock of a clock, his heels gently knocked into the cabinets beneath him, rhythmically reminding me:

How quickly our kids grow up and how quickly they leave us.

Now, a confident young man, David talked openly about his life.

From friendships and relationships, to classes, cars, and careers, he contemplated his future and made mine feel brighter.

Insightful, kind, brilliant, and warm, now he was giving me advice about the road that lies ahead for me and my two boys; one, who’s about to begin the journey that David just completed:

High School.

“Don’t worry so much,” he smiled, reassuringly.

“Boys don’t think about that stuff. He’ll be fine – really.”

And I believe him.

Because he’s David.

He’s part of my tribe.

Mom-Friends

They love your kids as much as they love their own and they understand that it takes a village to raise a family.

Mom-Friends are your Tribe.

They drop everything to help whenever they can.

They don’t compete with you, they collaborate.

They root for you to win.

And they root for your kids to win even more.

They aren’t jealous; they’re joyful.

And overwhelmed – with guilt.

Whether they work inside or outside of the home, moms are always working so Mom-Friends support each other because making choices for your family is never easy – especially when those choices affect a future you can’t control and they’re attached to a life that doesn’t belong to you, ultimately.

But Mom-Friends live by the principles of abundance.

They know there’s plenty of good to go around, so they give it away – often and freely.

Because it comes back.

They carpool your kids at the crack of dawn and pick them up when you’re running late; they save you another trip to the store because the success or failure of a birthday party hinges on it.

They keep your kids overnight at the last minute and they keep your dog too.

They offer you food when you’re sick and support when you’re sad.

They let you vent because they understand.

They don’t judge, or criticize, or gossip.

They tell you what you need to hear, instead of what you want to hear.

And they ask you how you’re doing because they really want to know.

Mom-Friends remind you to breathe.

Because they’re your Tribe.

They keep your village alive, so your kids can thrive and you can survive.

Until The Farewell

“David, Do you want to give Mo a ride home?”

“Sure,” he said. “Let’s take it for a spin.”

“Thank God,” I thought. “I don’t have to run.”

His parents and I hopped into David’s new ride.

“Winslow.”

 

The perfect name for the perfect van, if you’re a college kid looking to road trip with your buddies.

A 1988 Chevy luxury van with interior wood paneling, crushed red velvet curtains, bucket seats that swivel, and its original VHS player.

It was cool and disgusting all at the same time, but it didn’t matter and it didn’t smell, and there are some things that a mom never needs to know – especially about her boys.

 “They Grow Up So Quickly.”

It’s a pathetic cliche, but I’m as pathetic as the rest of my Mom-Friends.

So we hope for the best and we prepare for the worst.

We watch and we gather.

We listen and we love and we lift each other up.

We are the emotional core and the roots that bind our communities together; our villages.

We aren’t just moms; we’re Mom-Friends – strategically placed.

And there are tribes of us – everywhere, moving in concentric circles:

Girls, daughters, sisters, cousins, nieces, aunts and friends, who grow up to become the most undervalued resource in the world:

Women.

And still, we manage to make the world go ’round.

Here’s to our Moms, and their Mom-Friends, and our Mom-Friends too.

Until next time,

No guilt.

Inside or outside, with or without kids – be a Mom-Friend.

Give away goodness – often and freely, and remember your Mom’s funny, quirky, crazy, potty-mouthed Mom-Friends.

They’re your tribe and no matter how old you get, as long as they’re around – they’ve got your back.

Share it if you believe it.

Thanks, Mom-Friends!

Cheers.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Photo Credit: Humor Me With Mo

 

 

 

{ 18 comments }

Andrew

Looking forward to the Dad article…very well done, glad you didn’t drink out of dog bowl.

MO VEAR

Looking forward to you writing the Dad article. It could be fascinating and truly insightful. Whatta ya say?

Jenny Gaff

Mo, what a neat article to write as Mothers Day is next week end
I am a chapter ahead of you but one you will soon be entering in the future. Mothers children grow up and get married and have a whole new batch for you to love on.
The circle gets bigger but tighter. You will love it.
Happy Mother’s Day dear friend!

MO VEAR

Thanks so much, Jenny. It’s so great to hear about things that are coming down the pipe-line. My sister-in-law said once: “The colors get richer,” and now, to hear that “the circle gets bigger, but tighter” makes the rough spots that much easier to navigate. It’s such a great message to carry forward. Thank YOU. 🙂

Jerry

My Mom had several Mom-Friends and as her son they became my other Moms. I cherished them as I know my Mom did too. Makes me smile to hear about your Mom-Friend and her son. What a beautiful blessing to have them in your life!

MO VEAR

Thanks, Jerry. I love hearing it from your perspective. Moms, and their love make the world go ’round… 🙂

Kathi

“You love them as much as you love you own.” What a beautiful thing to have a community of children who are so loved.

Makes me think of my mom’s mom-friends. Didn’t we all have that lady?!
I went to her house if I was locked out. She called for a cup of sugar or if one of her zillion kids needed God knows what for a Boy Scout meeting, or to help with first aid when her husband fell off the ladder into the bushes. My mom called her for a ride to the train or when the basement got water in it or probably just to vent about us kids.

So fun to think of mom friends of the past and present. Mo, you sure are the poster child for the best mom friend. My boys are surely blessed. I sure love your boys like my own.

Kath

MO VEAR

Sniff-Sniff, Flange! Now you’re makin’ me cry in a public place! HA We are blessed! xo

Rox

So true Mo! Great article as always!

MO VEAR

Thanks, Mom-Friend! 🙂

Sue Heneghan

What a great article, Mo!! I enjoyed reading this. It is very true. We can’t be who we are without our mom friends ❤️

MO VEAR

Spoken like a true Mom-Friend! Thanks, Sue, for all you do. xo

Mary Lou Linnen

Read your article. Enjoyed it, although most of my Mom friends are gone now. Mary Lou

MO VEAR

I’m your Mom-Friend and will hang out with you anytime, Mary Lou. As a mom and woman, you’ve always been a great role model; your kids are some of my most cherished and life-long friendships. xoxo

Gay Godfrey

Love it! Life is such a whirlwind as you watch your kids grow! So fun in being involved in events that include their friends also. So amazing to see the “boys” morph into the “men” they become! As the mom of 3 boys, I can totally relate to the connections that evolve as a result!

MO VEAR

Thanks, Gay. So true! And how blessed I am to be part of this tribe. ❤️

MG

Those boys are Keepers! Great Boys to watch grow up to become
fine young men.
Happy Mother’s Day(Happy Mo’s Day for short)
Kayak again this summer for sure.

MO VEAR

So true, and what a blessing you’ve been to them! And to me. Looking forward to kayaking again!!!! 🙂

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