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Awkard Situations

The Pursuit of Joie de Vivre

by MO VEAR
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Speaking of French Maids, the French call the joy of living, “Joie de Vivre.” With a stick of bread, lump of aged cheese and a vine-ripened tomato, a simple picnic is elevated to an art form.

Voila.

For a real masterpiece, I would opt to elevate this picture-perfect-picnic-of-art-for-moi, with a wine vineyard. Maybe some “tree-sized,” bendy straws for sipping fermented grapes, so I wouldn’t have to move my derriere from its comfy red and white gingham-checked “tablecloth.”

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Fat Dialing Porn Stars

by MO VEAR
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I have no idea who came up with this phrase: “fat dialing,” but I love it and I love the brain that thought it up. It’s akin to someone’s phone ringing from their back pocket, usually at the most in opportune time, like, an important board meeting where someone says, without thinking, clearly, “Your ass [...]

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